Home     Writers     Op/Ed     Book Reviews     News     Bookstore     Photoshops     Submit     Search     Contact Us     Advertise  
  You are here: 

Sun

07

Oct

2007

Not All Italians Love Columbus
Sunday, 07 October 2007 22:40
by Mickey Z
It's time for yet another Columbus Day ... 24 hours set aside to revere Italy's version of the Terminator.
America is a nation built upon myth (starting with its "discovery") but the greatest myth of all is that the land of the free is gonna last forever. Alas, my History Channel-watching brethren, all genocidal empires must fall — just ask Italy. Once the proud birthplace of DaVinci, Verdi and my father, Italy must now bear the blame for producing Buttafuoco, Guiliani, and Janice Soprano. While the children of old Italia once rose up in defense of Sacco and Vanzetti, today's paisan is busy trying to explain Fabio.

Indeed, when the mighty fall, they do tend to go for the gusto.

I ponder this irony as we come upon yet another Columbus Day — 24 hours set aside to revere Italy's version of the Terminator. Upon encountering the Arawak people in 1492, Columbus noted that they "would make fine servants," adding, "with fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want." Governor Arnold's got nothing on Chris "The Continent Cleanser" Columbus.

Below the elevated platform at the Astoria Boulevard N/W train station, my neighborhood plays host to Columbus Square...which is actually shaped like a warped triangle. Let Manhattan have its rather simplistic circle...we in Queens are far more geometrically sophisticated. It's a square triangle for us.

Naturally, a statue of Christopher Columbus adorns this triangular square. If one were to believe this sculptor's rendition, Chris the Capo spent plenty of time in the Santa Maria Tennis and Fitness Club. This statue is pumped. He's got biceps to die for and a set of pecs that are literally bursting out of his manly shirt.

Yes, Columbus is buffed and ready for genocide.

An engraved plate on the ground under the statue reads: "But not for Columbus, there would be no America." As I stomp on those intolerable words with my dirt-infested sneakers, I envision that first conversation:

COLUMBUS: Red man, we want your land and everything on it.

INDIAN: Okay, muscular paleface, but what will you offer in return?

COLUMBUS:
Venereal disease, smallpox, the destruction of your culture, genocide, Christianity, and a really bad image in John Wayne flicks.

INDIAN:
Can you toss in a few casinos?

COLUMBUS:
Sure, but you'll have to wait about 500 years.

INDIAN:
Okay, Chris, you've got a deal.
With that conversation in mind, I ascend the stairs to the train.

Happy Indigenous People's Day...
Mickey Z. is the author of "Saving Private Power: The Hidden History of 'The Good War.'" He can be reached at mzx2@earthlink.net.

More from this author:
Who killed Michael Moore? (Why and what's the reason for?) (10875 Hits)
(Inspired by the recent assassination of Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaya) There's no shortage of outrage on the Left. Plenty...
"Boiling Point" - Eroding Freedom: From John Adams to George W. Bush (13139 Hits)
Put a frog into a pot of boiling water, the well-known parable begins, and out that frog will jump to escape the obvious danger. Put that same...
Read This Before You Vote (11937 Hits)
If one were to believe the hype, nothing less than the fate the civilized world is riding on the results of the upcoming midterm elections....
Nukes: Iran and North Korea are not the problem (13730 Hits)
by Mickey Z. Thanks to the nuclear aspirations of North Korea and Iran, there's no shortage of rhetoric along these lines: "We can't let...
When "anti-war" doesn't mean anti-war (6331 Hits)
by Mickey Z. A casual stroll through most major U.S. cities would provide ample opportunity to encounter numerous stickers, buttons,...
Related Articles:
All you need is love (...and a small, well-trained army) (6772 Hits)
by Mickey Z. Warning: This article has not been approved by the Department of Homeland Security. Read at your own risk. Thomas...
The Arabs’ feelings of love and hate for Saddam Hussein (5044 Hits)
by Ramzy Baroud Amid the anticipation and strange secrecy regarding the day of Sadaam Hussein’s execution, images of his lifeless body...
Coming Soon: More Big Brother to Love (6990 Hits)
by Jayne Lyn Stahl Over the past several months, the FCC and Justice Department have been working overtime, and fighting hard to tap not only...
Veterans’ Love Story: Valentine’s Day, 2007 (6049 Hits)
by Shepherd Bliss Ah, Valentine’s Day approaches again — a good time to review one’s love life. Memories long buried may emerge, if one...
Love is Never Asking Questions (4184 Hits)
CLICK ON THUMBNAIL AFTER PAGE LOADS FOR FULL IMAGE David Howell was born in 1972 in Elmhurst, Illinois. He started...


Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites
Trackback(0)
Comments (0)add comment

Write comment
smaller | bigger

busy
 

adsense

Top