Home     Writers     Op/Ed     Book Reviews     News     Bookstore     Photoshops     Submit     Search     Contact Us     Advertise  
  You are here: 

Wed

09

May

2007

George & Attila
Wednesday, 09 May 2007 12:26
by Will Durst

When a ton of crap is dumped from way high above into the lake of our lives, we rarely worry about the tiny arcing droplets splashing on our face mainly because we’re too busy keeping our boats afloat and our breathing apparatuses above water, but I would like to spotlight a seemingly insignificant drop of moisture pooling at the end of our nose that is destined to affect us for the rest of our natural born days.

Namely: the name George. Which is getting such a bad rap these days, it will soon qualify for 12 step status.

“Hi, my name’s George and I’m a George.”

“Hi George.”

Even though this honorable moniker stands as a symbol of our country’s birthing struggle due to the father of our nation wrestling its honor from the crazed clutches of King George III, parents must be having second, third and no thoughts whatsoever about naming their kids George lest it be seen as a tacit approval of the ways and means of the current administration. Hell, I bet the names Mothra, Dweezil and Philomena get better placement in the baby name books than George and/ or Georgette do over the next couple of decades. Wouldn’t be surprised to hear Prince George, British Colombia attempts to change its handle to Margaritaville.

Like the demise of free buffalo chicken wings during happy hour, all it takes is one or two little snortie pigs stuffing the plastic bag- lined pockets of their overcoats to ruin it for everybody. Well, in this case, everybody named George. No, scratch that, I was right the first time: ruin it for everybody. And for lowering the bar on this whole Jorge thing so deep you’d have to dig about six feet under ground just to get a sonar detection on it the responsibility lies with the usual suspects; Presidents number 41 & 43. But god knows, they are not alone.

Earlier this month, the alleged Boy George was busted for allegedly allegedly imprisoning an alleged male prostitute and triple extra credit for anybody who can hold that image in their head for more than fifteen seconds, and now… NOW… along comes Medal of Freedom winning (hack) former head of the CIA, George Tenet, who writes a book saying he was never that big of a fan of the Iraqi war, and was a reluctant player, simply going along to get along and now he’s not sure if it was a good idea or not and enh, enhhhh enhh, weh weh weh weh weh, all the way home, and hey! What’s that noise? Oh, it’s the sound of the final nails being hammered into the George coffin. Dearly beloved, it is my sad duty to inform you, that George, as we know it, is over. Exists no more. Its history. In the archives. Elapsed. Expired. Its gone. Say bye.

This might even prove to be fatal blow. A death knell for the venerable name of George. Kind of like what happened to Attila and Adolf and Dick and Maynard. Of course, pets will still be called George, based on the modern children’s classics: George of the Jungle and Curious George. While we grown ups can only fantasize about how truly marvelous this world would be, if only we were blessed with a President whose mind had a predilection towards the latter rather than the geography of the former.

Comic, writer, actor, former radio talk show host and brief holder of the Guinness Book or World Records for continuous joke telling at 16 hours and 44 minutes, Will Durst, wonders if Gorgar is a derivative of George?

Catch Durst as he hosts the Northern California Emmy Awards this Saturday at the Palace of Fine Arts. Or listen to his twice weekly commentaries @audible.com/willdurst. And check out Itunes audiobooks for his new CD: “Ring Toss for Aliens,” for a limited time only $4.95.
More from this author:
DON’T NOT STAY THE COURSE (6330 Hits)
by Will Durst If you need more proof that President George Bush is as clueless as a goldfish on a leash in a space shuttle, you obviously...
The Demagogic Whistle Stop (5931 Hits)
by Will Durst Oh for crum’s sake, people. It was a joke! “If you don’t study in school you’ll end up getting stuck in Iraq.”...
San Francisco Values (5468 Hits)
by Will Durst Hope you were hanging on to something solid Tuesday night because this country lurched so hard to the left, half of Washington...
Who's the Comeback Kid Now? (6121 Hits)
by Will Durst Guess who the Republicans snuck in as Senate Minority Whip? Trent Lott. Yes, that Trent Lott. Welcome back buddy! You’re a...
AND THEY’RE NOT OFF! (5734 Hits)
by Will Durst I startled some guy in the next lane at a red light when I shouted at my radio today. A semi famous network newscaster had come...
Related Articles:
"Boiling Point" - Eroding Freedom: From John Adams to George W. Bush (13615 Hits)
Put a frog into a pot of boiling water, the well-known parable begins, and out that frog will jump to escape the obvious danger. Put that same...
The trial of Saddam Hussein and the coming trials of George W. Bush and Anthony Charles Lynton Blair (6714 Hits)
by Richard Marsden Sunday's announcement of the verdict in the trial of Saddam Hussein and his seven co-defendants was, of course, timed...
The Dissapperance of George P. Bush (6489 Hits)
by Linda Milazzo It was the year 2000. The new millennium. It featured a rising new star from a prominent American family. His name was George....
"United States v. George W. Bush et al" America Files Fraud Charges Against Bush (8786 Hits)
by Ahmed Amr The Grand Jury indictment was hand delivered in a plain brown envelope. Because it arrived late, I decided to have dinner before ...
This is where George Bush gets dangerous (5339 Hits)
By Ahmed Amr We now have six years of evidence that George Bush is not all there. The occupant of the White House has consistently...


Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites
Trackback(0)
Comments (0)add comment

Write comment
smaller | bigger

busy
 

adsense

Top