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Tue

08

May

2007

It's Revolting... Why Aren't We?
Tuesday, 08 May 2007 11:54
by Stephen P. Pizzo

Tonight our monkey will climb into a monkey-suit and dine in regal splendor with an anachronism.

At one end of the head table will be President George W. Bush, looking for all the world like a 10-year old spoiled brat being forced to sit respectfully through a the visit of a rich aunt. 

At the other end of the table will be the rich aunt, in this case the Queen of England. Never mind that the Queen is little more than a national mantel ornament back home. She's still getting head-of-state treatment in Washington.

At the very moment the caviar and fine wines are served at the White House tonight, followed by no less than five, 5-star quality courses of food, our Gis in Iraq will be cracking open their breakfasts – another Meal Ready to Eat (MRE) – each packet one-course short of five – and way short on yum.

The ambiance at the White House meal will sparkle. So will the ambiance in Iraq. The only difference is the sparkle at the White House is designed to awe. The sparkle in Iraq is designed to shock – to death.

At the White House it will be a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. In Iraq's it's breakfast with Mad Max.

White House guests have each been instructed on the rules for being around the Queen. They should never speak to her unless she speaks to them. They must never touch the Queen. If she puts out her hand they are to put their hand out and let the Queen take it. DO NOT SQUEEZE! If the Queen deems you squeeze-worthy, she will do the squeezing.

It's much the same for the rules of engagement in Iraq, only more so.  DON'T SQUEEZE ANYTHING! It might explode.

Am I the only one that feels tonight's state dinner for the Queen has the feel of a red-hot blast of cognitive dissidence — remarkable even from this White House in it's feeling of unreality?

US and British men and women are being blown by the dozen every day in Iraq. The public in both England and the US overwhelmingly want their governments to rescue their troops from that hopeless hell-hole of a nation. But tonight the leader of one of those countries will fete the pretend-leader of the other country in a lavish dinner, as though at that very moment one or more of their soldier's life is not likely to be soaking into Iraqi sand.

Nevertheless they shall and, I'm guessing that, white wine will be in far more demand at tonight's White House dinner than red wine. It's not so much that the guests might have a hard time choking down red wine. Just imagine how awkward it would be should someone spill a glass of red wine on the white table clothe. Imagine the embarrassed shuffling as butlers rush to wipe it up before it forms those evocative pools of red at the guests feet.

Of course there will be no wine served to our troops in Iraq, white or red. Alcohol is not allowed in Muslim countries as, they fear, it could lead to irrational behavior and violence. Since there's no red wine in Iraq, those pools of red that spot the Iraq landscape are more than just an social embarrassment. They're the real deal.

Tomorrow night the Queen Of-Nothing-Real will return the favor by hosting a state-dinner for the President Of-Fewer-and-Fewer at the British Embassy in Washington. For the second time this week our Commander-in-Chief will climb into his monkey suit and dine in splendor with a woman dressed like the cake at a gay wedding.

Meanwhile, in Iraq their soldiers will wake up to another 100-degree plus day. They too will  put on their monkey suits – 12-pounds of body armor, helmet, ammo, rifle – and three square meals... (that are actually square.)

While the food and ambiance at the White House and Embassy dinners will surely be to die for, in Iraq the troops will surely be doing just that.

And still we are not in the streets.


Disclaimer:
Not to be confused with what's being served at the White House dinner.

 
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Lester May said:

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Pizzo takes the pizz
Another mean-spirited piece about the state visit of HM The Queen to the US. It might be funny were it not so bitter. Pizzo clearly is not au fait with Britain. The British military serve "Queen and Country" and, from my experience, will not worry one jot about the fine meal fit for a king, in comparison with their ration packs. Each has to do a job and our "Tommy Atkins" is more than happy to do his - as, I expect, is the US Soldier - while letting the Heads Of State do theirs. How much better were Pizzo to write something helpful, something interesting, something useful.
 
May 08, 2007
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