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Bush Fatigue

Written by Ed Naha
Monday, 07 May 2007
by Ed Naha You know we’re in trouble when our President’s father tells Larry King that the country is suffering from “Bush fatigue.” You know we’re in trouble when Laura Bush tells the nation that nobody suffers more than she and her husband when it comes to Iraq. You know we’re in Lewis Carroll territory when the most memorable Dubya moments of the last two weeks consist of Bush dancing and drumming with a group of African musicians, appearing on “American Idol” and Bush celebrating Cinco de Mayo with a mariachi band. You know we’re down the rabbit hole when Bush re-defines himself as “the Commander guy” and it takes the White House forty-eight hours to correct the official transcripts to “a Commander guy.” This is closely akin to changing the statement “I’m THE moron” to “I’m A moron.” I think “Bush fatigue” is only one of many ailments we’re suffering from. There’s “Bushlexia.” The symptoms afflict those who either listen to or read statements by Bush while attempting to find logic in them. Severe migraines, dry heaves and spit-takes are the result. The antidote? Diagramming sentences, brushing up on grammar and re-reading the speeches of F.D.R. and J.F.K. in order to remember what a real president sounds like. “Bushedelia” attacks those who actually attempt to connect reality with anything that comes out of Bush’s mouth. For instance, Bush insists that the Democratic-spawned idea of attaching a timely withdrawal table to further funding of the Iraqi screw-up would result in “chaos.” This is opposed to the Sesame Street situation our invasion and occupation has caused. Last month, 104 American troops died in Iraq. In the first six days of May, there’ve been 25 deaths. In five years, 3376 American troops have died. The overall effect of Bushedelia is identical to what was referred to as a “bad trip” in the 1960s. So far, the only known antidote is swearing at King Kong volume whenever you see his kisser and vowing not to drink the Kool-Aid. “Bushlemia” is another frightening disease. It’s caused when facts are whittled away from official White House statements and exceedingly thin generalities, transparent lies and low-IQ sound bites are substituted in their place. A few examples? When Dubya, with a whopping 28% approval rating and over 70% of Americans thinking we’re on the wrong track, insists that the Democratic Party’s overwhelming mid-term victory means that the American people want him to INCREASE the number of troops in Iraq. When the EPA is ordered to doctor Global Warming studies, omit any references to “polar bears” (because they’re so cute, they might influence the populace) and, well, just make shit up in terms of endangered species. When the White House accuses the Dems of weakening our troops’ morale as the Pentagon extends tours of duty in Iraq from twelve to fifteen months, sends more troops in with no equipment and tries to quash an in-house study that shows that 50% of troops are having mental and emotional problems. Oh, yeah. And the troops’ twelve month “home time” includes their stay in V.A. facilities as opposed to being with their families because “America” means “home.” The only known antidote to this condition is to read as many wire-service stories as possible, stay informed, avoid the Sunday morning “spin” shows and pray that we make it to 2008 with at least three brain cells functioning. That gives us three up on the opposition. “Orthodox Bushism” is still something to contend with, albeit with only 28% of the country still buying into it. This is a condition that arises from thinking that George W. Bush is on a “mission from God.” That he was chosen by the Big Guy to lead this nation and that he gets his orders for his New Crusade directly from a Being who sounds a lot like Charlton Heston. The antidote? Re-read the New Testament and point out the passages wherein Jesus says, “bring ‘em on” or “I’m the Decider” or vows to bomb the holy Hell out of someone he doesn’t like. Also: watch “The Blues Brothers” a couple of times. These are just a few of the ailments we have to contend with. There’s also “Pundit Pustules,” “Bushit,” “Cheneymania,” “Foxjaw,” “Busherroids,” (Alberto Gonzales is one of the biggest), “Rovian Cancer” and “Republeprosy.” Hopefully, our immune systems will stay strong and we will all stay sane. Here’s hoping for a cure-all in 2008. Comments (1) Subscribe to this comment's feed david: "more than she"? what the hell is that? Ed Naha says: "when Laura Bush tells the nation that nobody suffers more than she and her husband" For crying out loud, has everyone been infected with Bushlexia? Can we just speak English? Can we just say "more than her and her husband"? 1 May 08, 2007 Write comment Name Title Comment Did you enjoy this article? Please bookmark it onto: Recommend this article...